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Saturday, May 31st





We're sure enjoying our new park since it opened.  It is only about 200 yards from our house so it's pretty darn convenient.  It has a big grassy area, some picnic tables and a great play area for the kids.  Caden's favorite thing (so far) is the infant swing.  Most of the play equipment is still a little too advanced for him, but he'll grow into it soon!  As you can see below, he really gets into the swing (Grandma cover your eyes).

Today was the official grand opening and ribbon cutting ceremony for the park.  We had a pretty good turn-out.  There were a few speeches from dignitaries and they had some activities like face painting and spin art for kids.  I spoke on behalf of the neighborhood.  I was originally planning a generic speech thanking people who helped us fund the park and get it built, blah, blah, blah.  But my topic changed considerably after we had a few incidents at the park.  Within days of the fencing coming down, someone had already tagged the play structures with graffiti and some idiot had driven up onto the lawn and spun donuts - on three separate nights.  To say that I was seething would be an understatement.  You work so hard and so long to get something and then some dumbass comes along to screw with it.  I just don't get it.  Anyway, I spent my two minutes talking about how we need to unite as a neighborhood to "adopt" the park and make sure these jerks don't get the best of us.  We need to take care of the place, quickly remove graffiti if it happens again and report all suspicious activity.  I was really pleased how many people came forward afterward with tons of energy to volunteer in that regard.  I think everything is going to work out well.  And hopefully we'll catch those bast@$ds.

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Thursday, May 29th
Caden loves bubbles.  They say they're really good for babies developing depth perception and hand/eye coordination.  And the cats obviously love them too.

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Wednesday, May 28th
We've been teaching Caden how to throw a ball the last couple of weeks.  For some reason it was really cracking him up the other night.  Who knows why but it was sure fun.

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Tuesday, May 27th
Being attacked by baby-zilla...






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Monday, May 26thFort Sam Houston National Cemetery; San Antonio, Texas
Today is Memorial Day.  If there was ever a time to stop and remember those killed defending our country, this is it.  It's kind of pathetic that we (as in us) don't do more on this day to honor the reason for this holiday.  We need to start a tradition or something to make sure Caden grows up knowing why we have this holiday.  Just because our family has not been directly impacted by the sacrifices of war doesn't mean we have any less responsibility to teach our kid these messages.  If anything, we have more responsibility because of that.  But isn't it exactly that catch-22 that makes America so good and bad?  The fact that a soldier fights and dies for our country so the rest of its people can live in peace and simply see this day as a holiday from work or another sale opportunity at the mall?  What a shame.  Or maybe I'm just born guilty.

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Sunday, May 25th
We've finally got our summer garden planted.  It's a little later than I wanted so we might be enjoying our tomatoes on Thanksgiving.  It will be fun to watch the garden grow this summer alongside Caden.  We'll see who gets bigger the fastest!

I love having a garden.  John always jokes that my tomatoes must cost about $100 per pound because of all the stuff we buy to prepare the soil and make the cages, etc.  By the time we actually pick and eat them, there's a lot of work and money invested.  But there's nothing like a home grown tomato.  We grow heirloom tomatoes and have been buying plants from a certified tomato freak for several years.  It's amazing how many varieties there are.  We only have room for five plants each season so we try new ones every year.  We're also growing some squash, green beans (for Caden), cucumbers and zucchini. 

If there was ever a question about whether this kid can get dirty, well, don't worry.  I only bring this up because twice now since we adopted Caden, different people have made comments to us that they don't think he will ever get dirty, basically insinuating that we are too overprotective to let him get down in the dirt.  He loves tootling around our backyard and getting filthy.  I think he has personally taste-sampled about every rock in our back yard and he loves to wallow in the dirt.  He has no problem getting filthy.  And we have no problem letting him.  I only draw the line at eating snails (unless of course they're cooked with a little garlic and butter).

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Saturday, May 24th
Today is my dad’s 80th birthday.  It’s hard to believe because he just doesn’t fit the mold of a person his age.  He’s active and young looking and would pass for 15 years younger.  I only hope that when I turn 80, I feel as good as he does, get to kick around in my yard and garden everyday, do whatever I want to despite what people are telling me to do, and have a spouse and a bunch of kids and grandkids that love me. 

We had a party today to celebrate.  In his typical style, he did not want a big fuss and only wanted a family gathering.  We enjoyed a great dinner, good wine, traditional German food, and shared some old, fun photos and great stories.  It’s not often that we get every member of the family together in the same place at the same time anymore so it was definitely a special occasion.  Caden had a blast.  He was so pooped out by the end of the day that he was still recovering on Sunday.  Party animal.

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Friday, May 23rd
I was out of town at an emergency medical conference this week to earn some continuing education credits.  Even though I’m not working right now, I still keep my paramedic license current and you have to attend a certain number of education classes every year.  It was the first time I was away from Caden for more than two nights.  And it was John’s first opportunity to take care of him 24/7.

So before I left, I sat Caden down and made a little deal with him:  “Remember that day when you pooped four times in one day?  Do that for Daddy while I’m gone.  And remember that day you dumped over the cat food and water bowl?  Do that too.  And remember when you unrolled all of the toilet paper in the bathroom?  And remember…?”  We had a deal.  Let’s just say I wanted to make sure John got to experience his share of challenges this week.  He needs to see what it’s really like spending all day with a constantly moving little goof-off.

And the report from Day One?  Pooped three times.  Good job Caden!  He also unrolled the toilet paper a couple times but didn’t manage to get into too many other shenanigans while I was away.  The house was sure a mess when I got home.  I at least got to say John’s favorite saying… “Soooo. What did you do all day?!  Priceless.

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Monday, May 19th
Aside from my lunatic ramblings, I figure this blog is a good milestone keeper.  You know, to document things on the day they happen.  Like Caden's first fart, burp and actual date with a girl.  Ok, that'll be a ways off (not the fart and burp part; he's quite accomplished at those).  But I also like to write about other things that happen so perhaps if we're bored some day or being held hostage in our house and have nothing else to do, we might actually want to read back at what I wrote and see what was happening here in the old days.  Here goes...

Mark this day!  Our corner gas station is now selling FOUR DOLLAR GAS!  We knew it was coming of course.  Those suckers have all been teetering at 3.9999 for the last week and then one of them flinched and everyone turned their signs at the same time.  Either that or they were all just waiting for their shipment of more "4's" to come in today and UPS finally showed up this morning.  Can you believe that oil only cost $20 a barrel when George W. Bush starte... A-HEM!  Sorry.  This is supposed to be a strictly non political blog.

So the question is:  will we look back at this in five or ten years and say, "Geez, that was cheap!"  Or will we be saying something like, "What were we thinking burning oil when we could have been making gas by feeding lima beans to _________."  (Fill in the blank, and feel free to use your imagination).  Who knows. Only time will tell.  But I worry that our current state of affairs is going to have a ripple effect like one not seen in this county for some time.  Is it time to start hoarding rice yet?  Or buy a cow?

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Sunday, May 18th
It was blazing hot this week.  It got over 100 degrees at our house three days this week.  I don't mind this kind of weather that much but little Caden can't tolerate it too well.  He's a hot blooded Italian/Portuguese/Puerto Rican.  Within minutes of being out in the heat, his cheeks turn really red and his head starts sweating.  What's worse than having a sweaty head?  Babies have a hard time regulating temperature anyway, but Caden seems to get hot pretty fast so we've been doing a lot this week to keep the little munchkin cool.

We bought a kiddie pool for him to use in our backyard.  He seems to like it.  It definitely keeps him cool.  But he's so used to swimming in a big pool during swim lessons s0 whenever he moves around in his shallow kiddie pool, he thinks he's supposed to dunk his head under the water.  It's pretty funny to watch.

Caden's pool is pretty neat.  It has a slide, a sprinkler and even some stairs.  But the hilarious thing is that the manufacturer has a bad habit of false advertising.  We read some reviews online before we bought it and nearly everyone complained that the photos don't match reality.  People pull them out of the box and are irate because they're way smaller than people expect.  Apparently the company is known for putting miniaturized kids on their advertising to make it look like their pools are much bigger than they really are.  The picture on the box of the pool we bought shows four 6-7 year olds playing in it.  I took a picture of Caden playing in his (at 11 months old).  You be the judge.  Are those kids gnomes or something?

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Saturday, May 17th
Caden is 11 months old today!

John and I volunteer cooking meals for a local shelter.  It's coordinated through our church and we cook every couple of months.  It's not really a homeless shelter but more of an in-house facility for folks who are trying to make it on their own after having difficulties with mental health issues.  They have an in-facility cook that prepares meals for them all week long but then there are volunteers like us that come in on Saturday nights to prepare something more special (and also to give the cook a night off).  John and I have been doing it a little over a year.

We really enjoy doing it.  We like cooking of course, but it is also very rewarding.  We make a somewhat gourmet meal.  We prepare all the food at the church and then take it to the shelter to be served at dinner time for the folks who are staying there.  We typically serve about 60 people.  The folks are really nice and always extremely appreciative.  They're pretty talkative if you're willing to initiate the conversation.  They "look" like any other person in society; you'd never know they're having struggles in life.  It kind of breaks your heart because you know they have little control over their mental health issues and they're trying like hell to live an ordinary life.

Tonight was the first time we took Caden along with us.  It was a sweltering hot day today so the kitchen was like a sauna, but Caden did great during the food prep and while we were serving the food.  He was a real trooper.  We really want to expose him to lots of opportunities to be giving and generous.  As far as I'm concerned, you can't start too young teaching the importance of giving and being charitable.

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Friday, May 16th
Our new park opened today.  This is no small deal.  Not only is it only about forty steps from our front door, but we worked really hard to get it built.  When we bought our home here about five years ago, everyone was promised a fully built and functioning park by the time we moved in.  Let's just say... that didn't quite happen.  So, after we moved in, I started to ask questions at the City.  They informed me that we were only about five hundred thousand dollars short of what we needed in order to get the park built.

Only $500k!?  Hmmm.  Selling cupcakes and carwashes will take about 200 years to raise the funds we need.  So, I tried to put the pressure on the folks at the City...  big time.  Have you ever heard of a squeaky wheel?  Well, I tried to be a gracious one.  And then suddenly, about two years later, I got a phone call from the parks people telling me that the park had been fully funded.  A miracle.  Almost overnight.  A half million dollars just materialized.  Wow!  And the park was constructed in record time and looks awesome.

The City is planning a celebration and ribbon cutting ceremony in a couple of weeks, but the fences came down today and the public could finally start using the new park.  It was great.  Unfortunately, it was coincidentally the hottest day of the year, so the play equipment was about 212ş Fahrenheit.  No kid would dare come near it.  Luckily, we took Caden out there when it was still cool so he got to try out the swings before it was sweltering hot.

We can't wait to use our new neighborhood park.  A lot.

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Thursday, May 15th
Human Rights CampaignAt 10 o’clock this morning, the California Supreme Court announced its decision overturning the ban on same-sex marriage which means that within thirty days, gay and lesbian people in California can get legally married.  Wow.  I think this will be looked back on as a landmark day in California civil rights history.  But I also think that, by the time Caden is in high school or college, we’ll all wonder what the big fuss was about. 

Unfortunately, the ruling may be short lived.  The opponents of marriage equality vow to put a measure on the ballot this year banning same-sex marriage in the California constitution.  I’ve carefully listened to all of their arguments.  The most common one is that they feel the need to “protect the sanctity” of marriage.  Also that “it’s just been this way since the beginning of time.”  Apparently that was also their argument when they opposed legalizing marriage between people of different ethnicities in 1967.

When you eventually wade through the morass of their arguments and spin, I think the people who oppose marriage equality are really not arguing about marriage at all.  I think it has more to do with bigotry and homophobia.  Many of these folks ultimately hang their hat on obscure passages from the Old Testament that refer to “abominations”.  But they’re really nothing more than “pick and choose” Christians because they ignore so many other edicts spelled out right there in the same sections of the bible.  For example, there are actually more abominations in the bible about not eating shellfish.  Why aren’t these same people protesting outside Red Lobster?  Oh I've seen them there - they're the ones standing in line after church on Sunday waiting to order the Jumbo Shrimp Special. 

If it wasn’t gays or gay marriage, it would be something or someone else they’d be bigoted about.  The hysteria gets really out of control sometimes.  There was even a legislator in Oklahoma recently who referred to homosexuality in a public speech saying, “I honestly think it’s the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam…” among several other unbelievable comments.  And to think that this woman has been elected to public office!  The last time I checked, the sky had not fallen and our civilization had not crumbled because of gay people. 

It still amazes me when people refer to homosexuality as “a choice”.  I mean, let’s get real for a minute.  Why would anyone choose to… live in fear their entire childhood and adolescence... be regularly discriminated against later in life... keep their relationships secret while friends and co-workers talk openly about theirs... etc., etc.  What, exactly, are the benefits of this so-called choice?  Because we just wanna be different?  Right. 

It's on a day like today when you feel slightly vindicated.  So many parts of society look down on you for so long and then finally someone stands up for you and says "no more."  It feels great.  And just.

John and I have never been ones that felt inclined to rush to the altar or have some kind of fancy ceremony, but we recognize that having the right to marry is a simple case of equality and human dignity.  And now that our family is complete with Caden, it is even more important to us to make our relationship official.  Who knows what we'll do next.  We need to think about it.  But it is a huge honor just to think that we now have the right to do so.  It is something we do not take for granted.

I want Caden to grow up knowing that he has two loving parents and the fact that both of them are dads is simply not an issue.  He is loved and well cared for and he will always have our complete and total devotion for as long as we live.  The fact that we’re gay will only be pointed out to him, when it happens, by people on the outside and probably by people who have a problem with it.  But thanks to today’s court ruling, we are inching ever closer to living in a society where all people are valued and treated equally. 

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Monday, May 12th
I noticed something the other day that kind of scared me.  I was feeding Caden some green beans or something and I realized that every time I put the spoon up to his mouth, I would open my own mouth in some kind of weird pantomime thing as he opened his mouth.  Like I had no control over it.  OH MY GOD!  I'VE TURNED INTO MY GRANDMOTHER!  (As kids, we'd love watching her mouth movements and facial expressions whenever she'd be knitting or concentrating on something). 

Ok, but seriously.  This is weird.  If I don't pay attention to it, I do it every time.  My mouth moves when Caden's mouth moves... every time I feed him.  It's freaking me out.  I think I've turned into an old lady or something.  (And yes, it takes a big man to admit that).

There must be more to this so I decided to watch John feed Caden last night.   (Picture me watching the two of them like a hidden surveillance camera in the corner of the kitchen; I only wish I had an actual camera running).  So let's set the stage: baby in the high chair... bib secured... mix the food in the bowl... lift the spoon to the mouth and... not one... but... TWO MOUTHS WIDE OPEN!  John did the exact same thing. 

I burst out laughing of course.  Hilarious.  When I pointed it out to John, he started laughing too but it was almost like he couldn't control it.  Like a little seizure disorder or something.  He kept feeding Caden and his mouth kept opening and laughing as if under hypnosis on one of those dumb hypnosis shows at the county fair.  Maybe it is some kind of primitive trait that we each have engrained in us to teach our kids how to open their mouths to eat.

You probably think we've lost our minds.  We haven't.  Check yourself.  I bet you have some weird unconscious movement you have no idea about.  But everybody else does.

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Sunday, May 11th
Happy Mother's Day!  We spent the day today with my family and Mom Zenker (pictured left).  I always feel the same way on Mother's Day.  Not worthy.  Does that sound weird?  I dunno... my mom is just the most amazing person who has done so many amazing things for us and I always feel that honoring her with a measly card and some flowers on Mother's Day just doesn't quite fill the bill.  I have to think I'm not the only one who feels this way on Mother's Day.

I know she doesn't expect extravagant things from us on Mother's Day; in fact she is one of the most humble people I've ever met.  She taught us a lot of humility.  But I still feel like I'll never be able to express the amount of gratitude I want to express to tell her how wonderful she is. 

And then what happens this year?  FTD sends her dead flowers.  Just lovely.  When I walked in their house today, I about had a stroke when I saw them.  Of course she tries to make the best of them and doesn't want me to feel bad, but I was pissed.  At least she has a good sense of humor.

We ordered the same arrangement for John's mom (pictured right) and we called her tonight to find out how her arrangement looked and, of course being a typical mom, she told us they looked beautiful.  But by today I got her to admit that her flower arrangement was near death too.  How embarrassing.  It's one thing if FTD wants to screw up flower arrangements for Christmas or Easter, but you just don't screw with Mother's Day.  Why?  Because moms will never tell you the truth and say, "these flowers you sent me are really ugly!"  Let's just say I'll be having a word or two (probably two) with FTD.

We've got very cool moms.  We are so lucky that we live close and get to spend time with them often.  But we need to do it more.  Caden sure loves them!  Whenever he spends time with them, his demeanor immediately changes because he seems to know he is spending time with someone special.  It is very interesting. 

I can only hope that we are as great a parents as they are.  We love you moms.

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Saturday, May 10th
Today is Birthmother's Day.  It is always celebrated on the Saturday before Mother's Day.  It is a tradition started nearly 20 years ago to honor women who made the choice of adoption for their children and to reflect on the sacrifice those women made.  While this may be a single day to honor birthmothers, not a day goes by that we don't remind ourselves of the incredible sacrifice Candice made to place Caden with us.  Candice is a strong and remarkable person and she has gone through a lot in the last year to make sure Caden was loved and had the best with us.  And there isn't a day that goes by that we don't think about her when we see him smile or notice a new facial expression.  We consider her as much a part of our family as any other relative. 

Candice made a decision nearly a year ago to choose us to be the parents of her baby.  And through that choice she has bestowed upon us the most special blessing imaginable.  So, it's on a day like today that we honor all birthmothers everywhere, but especially the one closest to our hearts.  We are so glad that Candice and her family will get to watch Caden grow up - right along with us - for so many more years to come.

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Friday, May 9th
Caden has had a mild cold and runny nose this week.  I really have no idea if he is getting more or less colds than the average kid his age.  It has to be less than kids who are in day care everyday.  Up to this point, he's only been sick about four times.  I'm not sure if that is good or bad.  Do you want them to get their infections all out of the way at the beginning and build up their immunity in the first year?  Who knows.  He does get plenty of exposure to other germy kids at swimming lessons and Little Gym. 

Since the FDA took all of the children's cold medicines off the market, there aren't a lot of options for treating a sick infant.  You're not supposed to use any over-the-counter medicines in any child under 2.  Apparently there were too many parents accidentally overdosing their kids, which I can totally understand.  When we treat kids on the ambulance, all of our medication dosages are weight-based.  In really tiny kids, it can get pretty hairy when you're trying to administer a half of a milliliter of some crazy powerful drug, especially in a tense situation.

Anyway, for colds doctors now recommend just palliative care such as saline nasal drops, nasal suctioning and the use of a cool mist vaporizer.  The nasal mist and suctioning really works.  It helps to clear out the snot before he goes to sleep, but of course getting to that point is another story!  This kid can be DRAMATIC!  BEBE SOUND BEBE-BR140 NasalClear Nasal AspiratorThe first couple times we did it, we tried using a bulb syringe.  You would have thought we were sticking needles in his eyes.  I decided to invest in a powered suction device, kind of a snot vacuum, that does a much better job.  Plus, it plays nursery rhymes while it sucks (not that that reduces the drama any).

All of the snot and boogers then collect in a lovely see-through collecting chamber so you can see how successful you've been.  With Caden, it's pretty much a two-man job.  One to hold him down and the other to maneuver the snot vacuum and work the music button.  He screams bloody murder the entire time but the instant we're finished, he immediately stops screaming, grins, and wants to see what's in the booger chamber.  I think he's going to have a sick mind just like his Papa.

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Monday, May 5th
We have tickets to the Stanley Cup Playoffs!  The only problem is that our team isn't playing in them.  And these tickets aren't worth the paper they're printed on.  Oh well. Our beloved hockey team, the San Jose Sharks, were eliminated last night from the playoffs.  What a game.  After being tied with Dallas going into overtime, they played FOUR overtime periods, the equivalent of an entire second hockey game.  I was exhausted just watching it so I can't even imagine how exhausted the poor players must have been.  The Sharks fought to the very end but lost on a penalty goal.

It was a great hockey season.  82 games.  I think we attended about 40 home games, all of them with Caden in tow.  He had a blast at all of them.  He made a lot of new friends, mostly big tough dudes that sit up behind us.  When they'd go down to buy more beer at the intermissions they'd always walk by us and say "Hey Caden!" and he'd give them a high five and smile.  People always remark to us about how well he behaves at the games.  I always tell them it's because he's too busy watching the action to get fussy.

Anyway, the hockey season is over for this year.  It was sure fun though.

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Sunday, May 4th
There's always a party at Caden's house.  This is one of his favorite new past-times.  I think Marge might like it more though.

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Saturday, May 3rd
Caden's newest thing is that when he gets excited about something, he puts his arms and hands out in front of him, his body stiffens up and he goes "Ooooo!" or "Eeeee!"  His body shivers all over and his eyes sometimes roll back.  It's pretty hilarious.  We were out shopping the other day and apparently, Caden was pretty happy about it because every aisle we went down was met by the same reaction.  You would have thought we were at Disneyland or something.

You can't help but just crack up.  Crazy kid.

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Friday, May 2nd
I recently submitted a photo of Caden to Rosie O'Donnell's blog and she posted it last night!  If you go to Rosie.com, you might still be able to see it live.  The photos change pretty often, but Caden might still be there on the main page if you hurry.  Rosie has an online store where they sell apparel and books and stuff.  All of the proceeds go to charity.  That's where I bought Caden's t-shirt that says "Peace" across the front.  Bloggers can submit photos of themselves in their t-shirts, so I did.  It's the same photo that is on the header of our website.  I think you can also see it on her blog if you click here or here.

Even better, she has a page called "Ask Ro" where people can submit questions about pretty much anything, and she'll answer back.  Last night someone submitted a comment saying, "...love the pic u just posted of the baby in the peace tee, such a cutie."  And Rosie's response was, "I know - adorable.

We love Rosie.  I know she's controversial to some people but my opinion of her has pretty much been the same since before she had her talk show.  I think she's a great person and does a lot of really good things.  No doubt she has a lot of strong opinions that the media loves to make hay with, but she's done a lot of good things to promote positive messages about adoption and gay parenting.  Her opinions of the war and the current political climate are especially strong, but nowadays most people are right there with her.  And I think she's hysterical.

I also appreciate her opinions about celebrity status.  She and her family try to live as normal a family life as they can even though it's near impossible given her celebrity status.  Many celebrities would never leave their house without a make-up artist or hairdresser spending an hour on them to make them match their celebrity persona.  Some people on Rosie's blog are always giving her a bad time because she posts pictures of herself without make-up on.  She could care less.  More celebrities should let the world see them as real people and not just the "character" they are selling to the public.

Anyway, I love Caden's t-shirt.  I do hope there is more peace in his lifetime than there was in mine.  How does the saying go?  There has never been a good war or a bad peace.  Amen.

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Thursday, May 1st
I have a potty mouth.  I admit it.  I'm not sure exactly when it got so bad but I haven't always had this bad a swearing problem.  It just comes out of me sometimes; I can't help it.  Caden is starting to form some of his first words and I'm actually surprised that one of them is not "fu@k".  John is yelling at me all the time that I need to watch my language and I'm really trying, but like I said... these bad words just comes out of me sometimes.  Some people swear when they get behind the wheel.  Some people swear when they talk about politics.  Some people swear when they watch sports.  My potty mouth seems to be an equal opportunity potty mouth. 

I was talking to a friend of mine awhile ago who is also a parent.  She was telling me that when she was pregnant with her daughter, she would catch herself saying a bad word and hope her baby (fetus) didn't hear it.  Oh Lord; I'm way beyond that!  Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm swearing all the time around the baby or dropping the F-bomb in every sentence.  But I definitely need to reduce my use of colorful language.  I'm just finding it kind of hard to do.

I recently found two other perspectives that I thought were interesting.  The first one is kind of a "do as I say, not as I do" approach.  One of our favorite podcasts that John and I like to listen to is the Savage Love Podcast hosted by Dan Savage.  It's basically a sex advice show.  He's really hilarious; it's very R-rated and very funny and entertaining.  He's written a couple of books (one about adopting) and also has a syndicated newspaper column.  Anyway, he uses the F-word all the time.  It's just who he is.  You kind of get used to hearing it when you listen to him on the podcast after awhile but it is pretty frequent.  The only problem is that he also has a 7 year old son and he admits to using bad language at home sometimes around his kid.  So what does he do?  They basically have an understanding that his kid can't talk that way even though his dad does.  Saying the F-word is just off limits.  And apparently it works.  I'm not so sure I can support this approach.  Seems disingenuous.

The other theory, which I just read yesterday in a funny article called "Them's the Rules" in Wonder Time Magazine basically endorses an approach that there are no bad words, just bad places to use those words.  The author says that if her kid wants to talk about certain bodily functions, he has to do it only in the bathroom (which is where he tells all of his poop jokes).  What about the F-word and the S-word?  She has taught him that those are only appropriate in rock music and he can't ever use those words until he's a bona fide rock star (which will basically be never unless he really keeps practicing guitar).  I kind of like this approach.  Given how clever Caden seems to be, I think he might respect this approach more than us just saying "do as I say..."

Of course, there's just one catch.  His Papa is NO rock star.  Which means I still need to clean up my act.  Fast.  Sh*t! 

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